The Rest is Rust and Stardust

and the rest is rust and stardust.
something painfully simple, honest and clear written by Nabokov - in Lolita, I think. and as a follow on to my thoughts through the day on embracing silence, i think this is the perfect way to come to terms with silence, solitude - and even start to like them again. (i say again because they were once my best friends. growing up tends to make you forget how to handle them, i think.)
so: at the end of this day of quite a bit of academic as well as personal thinking (and some thoughts that merged the two!), here is what i have discovered re. my 'solitude crisis'.
this is a PhD programme - in most respects, i am a university student, working to deadlines (not very efficiently, as you can see. most of my time is spent in staring!) and having set goals (supposedly). but. when i first came here, what was it i wanted to do? not necessarily gain the 'Dr' title (i still can't believe i might gain that!), but instead, find a creative answer to a unique question. find some meaning in an apparently unconnected series of information-points. find the pattern that connects. how can that come if i am - as i am at home - constantly surrounded by a gaggle of giggling friends (bless them, i miss them like a wound). yes, conversations help clarify insights. but before those insights come, the rest is rust and stardust.
now, Zareen, to work. think. for God's sake, forget everything else and do what you're here to. think. so every time i forget, the magic words to remind me are: the rest is rust and stardust.