Later

The true picture emerges. In between all the wonderful recollecting of Scotland, my body was apparently beseiged by a force of spiky, green and inherently evil viruses. How they breached my immaculate immune system, I cannot immediately say. Perhaps it was the fact that I was walking around London the day before yesterday wearing a cotton dress and my winter coat was unbuttoned? I dunno!
Anyway, I felt mildly, even pleasantly lazy this morning and decided to stay at home tucked up in bed.
Several hours later, I look up from my dream of Edinburgh, to find my nose has been blocked by the bastards, and they are slowly driving cold steel swords through the muscles of my legs, back, arms and shoulders. They have strapped up my head so that it feels like it will soon implode, and they've put something in my eyes that makes everything look very swimmy if I change my focus.
This is the second time in the past two months that I have encountered this marauding, pillaging, stinking, evil, godless army, and both times I have felt utterly god forsaken and cast aside by the saints Comfort, Peace, Calm and Productivity.
I would rouse myself, under better conditions, and say ohfuckit, let's fight them off! Pour ginger tea on top of them! Stab them with Vitamin C! Boil them in hot salt gargles. And then rest, knowing that victory is close at hand.
Currently though, all I am doing is lying in bed and groaning. I wish I was doing exactly the same, but under a vastly different set of circumstances.
Bah. Humbug.
If anyone out there has survived a similar set of circumstances, kindly let me know how you did in the bastards.